Nothing but Love

This one my friends, is truly personal. If someone should again ask who I really am, or what my trip to Florida was like, I will point to this video.

A few days ago, I was watching this video on Youtube and instantly the entire concept, almost down to the exact wording, flooded into my brain. The result is the video below. It was decades of a desire that had built up, just waiting for a positive channel to open up.

This video was a “drain-plug-puller” for me, so I am going to take a few days off to recharge the batteries. That is about all I have to say about that.




UPDATE:

Lucious just received his first reviews and they come as a result of the success of the Second Tom Cruise video (UNCUT) located here. Some might not like to get these types of comments for their work but for me, they are a sign that Lucious is going right where he was aimed. The top of the weird heap. So with an additional thanks to everyone who is involved with lucious here are the first reviews:

“Tom Cruise Parody Filmed After Taking Large Doses of Peyote”

-BUZZFEED

“Point is, everyone knows the hot trend in parody right now is Tom Cruise. Did you watch Colbert's impression, then Craig Ferguson's, then Jerry O'Connell's and think, that's good, but it references not nearly enough obscure internet humor? Or possibly, Very funny, but what of LOL Cats? Can't someone can create a parody incomprehensible outside the esoteric world of internet nerds?

I think it's obvious from the above video that all of our prayers have been answered. Xenu is Great!"

-FILMDRUNK

Lucious heals millions

You just had to know that it would not be that long before Lucious put up the big tent. That’s right, Lucious is now in the healing business. With my background, I thought this would be an easy journey for Lucious, but I gotta tell you, this video was the biggest pain in the ass I have ever known.

While not a ringing endorsement, I felt the video was good enough to go out to the public at large, but the truth is, I had the rare wisdom to do a trial run before I made the big boy. I have been planning for a long time to have Luscious go into the healing business, and originally, the first thing he was going to cure was hemorrhoids. That script has been about 80% written for over a month, but it sat there waiting for me to minimize the obstacles that were in front of the production.

One of them was light. Lucious drinks light like a horse that has not seen water in months who has just found a river. I am going to have to add another huge strip of lights, and I’m afraid people will think aliens have landed inside my house. That is not a good place to be in Pennsylvania.

I had some clown tell me today, pardon me, I had the ghost of John Houston drop by the second Tom Cruise video, and proceed to tell me how to make videos, even though he’d never made a single one of his own. One of the things he talked about was accurate, this guy however, thought I was deliberately trying to make Lucious transparent.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever have enough light to properly pull this off, without leaving a permanent scorch mark on the northern tier of Pennsylvania. I may have to resign myself to being the only guy who has an invisible cat in his videos.

Now if I can just figure out how to keep Lucious inside the frame when he’s bouncing around and preaching, I really will be getting somewhere. Enjoy that which was my greatest torment.

The Tom Cruise Scientology Video UNCUT

In the last Lucious video, you saw Chico Mahalo taking the high road on the latest Tom Cruise behavioral outburst. In this video, I took the low road. Little elegance here, so you can take your smoking jacket and slippers off, and pop open a Budweiser. I picked up the entire comedy bucket and threw low-tech, low-brow, gooey stuff at Cruise.

Let me first say that it is my belief that if you took most Americans and put them in front of a camera for ten minutes, the result would make Tom Cruise look balanced and well informed. Frankly speaking, the worst mistake Cruise made was to open his mouth and attempt to communicate. Americans in general have been brain-bullied by excess doses of pure crap television viewing, God awful and repetitive music, and as Tom Cruise notes, not taking enough vitamins or getting enough exercise. I would add that few of them read enough anymore, not much beyond the caloric content on most prepackaged food labels.

I could not help but to go after an issue which gets overlooked with Cruise, that being the religious persecution that goes on in this country. Not that Mitt Romney is not one weasel boob of the highest order, but just a glance at how his Mormonism has been treated and you get my point about Cruise. I think Cruise is one sandwich short of a picnic, but anyone attacking his religion needs to be aware that their own religion might just be as strange as his, if they take the time to openly, honestly study it. Let’s face it folks, most religions have some really odd stuff hiding in the closet. That includes my own.

All things said, this video was written, about eighty percent of it, in Florida, so if you notice a decided Latin feel to it, I have no idea why that might have happened. Now I am just getting as silly as I did in the video, so without further adieu, pop that Budweiser, and sit back and watch what may be the funniest thing I have ever written. I tried to be as funny and strange as Cruise was, but fell just a little short on the strange.

Of insanity amidst the nuttiness

So there I am in Florida running back and forth from one institution to another, trying to keep a largely unbalanced member of my family alive, and Tom Cruise goes live on YouTube with what has got to be one of the most bizarre videos ever made. I am 1500 miles away from my studio; I do have some portable gear, but I am too highly involved with attempting to keep a lunatic alive to truly be able to dabble in a video response.

I made a few notes, essentially drafting a rough copy, contacted everyone on the production chain, and waited for my opportunity to scoot out of Florida, and get back to the business of Lucious. By the time I got home late yesterday, thoroughly exhausted and extended, Chico Mahalo had his script in my digital in- basket ready for the cerebral doughnut-making machine. Chico rules!

One of my other writers is too depressed and lacking sufficiently in mood altering drugs to be able to produce scripts. Another of the writers is so completely blasted out of his gourd on mood altering drugs, that not only is he unable to write, but has difficulty sending e-mails. Perhaps if we blend these two writers together you get the proper chemical balance to be able to produce scripts.

That said, here’s the first video response to the Tom Cruise video, written by Chico Mahalo. I will be working through the weekend to get the second script put together, and maybe the other writers will recover as well. Who knows, the miracles never cease, but I’m back in Pennsylvania, and thank God for that. Things should settle down next week.

OH CRAP I MAY HAVE JINXED MYSELF SAYING THAT!

Lucious does Blade Runner

Today’s episode finds our hero exploring his involvement in the cult favorite Blade Runner. Right off the bat, I gotta say a massive thanks to Mrs. Mary Matalin Gisher. Without her assistance in the art department, the look and feel of this film would not exist. I might also mention to all the writers for the series, we are both flat worn out from producing epic shorts like this, so hold off on sending me the remake of The Matrix, which by the way, is actually a project already sitting on my desk. It will be a good darn while before that gets developed. You have to love this kind of thing to do it, but you also need to take breaks.

Mary Matalin Gisher also gets a nod for assistance with the writing of this episode. In the first case, she took great issue with me putting Rutger Hauer back in his hotel room on a cocaine binge, so much so that I felt it necessary to start from scratch on that part. The result was a joke that was far funnier than the original.

Then there was the sketch she drew in the early stages of development for the set, which had a figure sitting there representing Lucious and had him holding a nondescript object that was to serve as a reminder to her, that something was supposed to be in his hands. In the original scene in the movie, it was a dove. When I looked at the drawing on her desk, my pathetic vision saw a beer can. I so loved the idea; this resulted in a second rewrite to incorporate the storyline behind it. Now you have this brilliant material being spewed by Lucious, and to top it off, he is smashed out of his gourd. Thank you very much Mrs. Gisher.

An additional note to all those involved in the Lucious project; I have to leave Wednesday morning to attend to a family emergency out-of-state. Keep sending your projects in, but be aware there will be a delay in production until we return, unless of course I actually get the time to pull one off on the road. Frankly though, I think we need a vacation, although what we’re about to do, really does not qualify. See you soon.

I have lost my mind

I am completely bonkers. This might be your thought after you watch this episode of Lucious’ Vlog. I have made it quite clear to everyone involved in this project that they are not to limit themselves in creative possibilities when they make their contributions. In this episode, and especially in the one to follow, hopefully this is communicated quite adequately by the end results.

There are limits when it comes to the amount of money to get plowed into these episodes, and there are a few boundaries that cannot be crossed, but I’m not about to tell anybody what they may be; I will simply reject the script, or edit the script. Even then, I have offered the revisions back up to the contributor, to provide them a chance to argue for their original vision. This is something that I’m going to continue to do, because I realize that many things can slip by me, as I am after all, I am only human.

Speaking of that, this episode marks the return of Taylor Gisher, who is now gone off on her own to become quite the director/thespian that was always suspected she could be. In keeping with my mantra of never throwing anything away, Taylor reprises her role as the cute young dead chick from the earlier production entitled “Walking Shoes”. Contrary to popular belief, the nut does fall very far from the tree, but the tree that grows from that nut apparently drops a seed that completely returns back to the tree that started it all.

This part however required some serious modifications that had to be made to the original character, which was a lovable, adorable, sweet and innocent, dead little girl. What gets up on the screen in this video is to say the least, the polar opposite of the original character. Now our cute dead little girl, comes across as an extra off of some Trent Reznor video, and one of the darker ones if I dare say so myself.

We had an absolute blast making this one, as it has been a while since the entire clan worked a video together. Every one of them has their own production studio now, so pulling them off of their own projects is not an easy task. Nepotism notwithstanding, I am immensely proud of this young lady, and I’m quite curious what you people had to say about this piece. Do not worry about impinging upon her feelings, as her skin is easily as tough as mine. The forum is now yours.

A salute to the “Chrome Dome of Humor”

This episode of Lucious is a knock on the door, (literally) of Mark Day, the God of viral comedy videos. This is the guy with the highly bogus accent who brought stand up to the Vlog world. Now he just won’t go away.

This may perhaps be a good thing, but I will let history be the judge of that.

Make sure you have a Holster for your gun.

This is the first one of the Lucious series where the awesome and sometimes disturbing work of Shawn Holster is featured. Shawn put together a track, which is principally a really sick pug with a major breathing problem. How you can turn a dog with asthma into what sounds like what winds up on this video I do not know, but Holster pulls it off.

In this episode, Lucious gets a gift from a loyal viewer, which also highlights why you should always be careful what you ask for.




Update: A special thanks should go out to everyone who has helped with Lucious in any way, and on any level, as the account he is hosted by at Youtube just rolled over 50,000 views in a month's time. Such is the power of the video audience, but I am not celebrating at all yet because right before I was banned at Youtube, scarcely five months after I started the first time, I was garnering 20,000 views a day. Since I do not have porn as a draw this time I gotta get back to work. Thanks again everyone!