I think I will sleep tonight for a change.

Sneak peak at why I disappeared for a little while. I have been a bit busy with my latest effort.

How to get thousands of followers on Twitter for free

First become a celebrity, and when the job offers finally start shrinking on you, then you get yourself a Twitter account.

Pigs, they beez safe for you

This message was brought to you by SRAPAC

Swine Ranchers of America Political Action Committee.

SRAPAC, we protect the pork.

Savored Tweet of the week

@KarlRove Look, I don't care what anybody else says, I think you did a great job with what little you had: Click here

A race for all time. Epic meets the fail whale.

@nathanreid Alright, send out a press release through CAA. @nathanreid vs @gisher Last one to 1000 followers must then follow Demi Moore.

And so it began. It's now official @nathanreid and @gisher are racing to 1000 followers. The last one to get 1000 followers HAS to follow Demi Moore on Twitter.

Please dear God will you follow me, so I do not have to read Demi's tweets? If I win I will donate my compassion to Newt Gingrich.

Look out CNN and Ashton Kutcher we are scrunging up right behind you.

Update: It has now been revealed that @nathanreid is in fact cheating with bots.

Hurling hammers

I was going to write something new, but then I remembered that in just a few billion years, all of this is toast anyway, so I decided to can it.

Top spanking tweets of the day

"Wait till you hear what she just told me about the 4 mitered corners of the apocalypse."

"Top 5 offensive things about Obama: #4 He's a politician masked as liberal’s answer to a charlatan masked as a conservative Christian."

Pontification

Why in God's name is the Vatican regularly reading my blog from multiple IP addresses? I mean nobody else is. Guess I'm not contemporary after all.